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* Wednesday, January 30, 2008 *

it's so weird how sometimes a few words that someone who is not even close to you, or rather someone who dun even noe you, said can affect me so much.

and i am pissed at myself. for even allowing it to affect me AT ALL.
but i cant help it.

you were right to say I've changed since 10years ago (i.e. sec sch) but you were unfair to make the change sounds like something bad, and you were selfish to deprive me of something tat i wanted juz becoz of tat, when you dont even noe me 10 years ago, and you still don't noe me now. i dun think we even exchange more den 20 sentences in our whole lives?

When i say change, i don't mean looks of coz.
I noe i've changed. I carry myself differently. I dress differently. I have different opinions and viewpoints towards certain things. I have interests in different things.

but tat does not mean that I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago inside.

for goodness sake! you are comparing me now with me 10 years ago. Surely you don't expect me to dress the same way as I did in secondary school? Surely you don't expect me to have the exact same opinions towards issues now as I did in sec school?

tat's totally absurd.
whether the change is good or bad, I have no idea.
mebbe good in the sense that I've been thrown into different kinda situations before, having to deal with different and difficult people, to such an extent that i think i can handle tougher situations and ppl now.
mebbe good in the sense that I'm more open-minded now, having had to go through several ups and downs in my life.
mebbe good in the sense that I'm more mature. If i am 15years old now, I would have juz kept quiet abt everything, go home and cry myself to slp.

mebbe bad in the sense that after having gone through 10 years of life since i first stepped into my sec sch, I'm no longer the same naive innocent simple me as i was.

but u noe wat? I would love to be the same naive innocent simple me that i was in sec sch. I think i was a tad happier and more cheery at tat time.

but u've nvr been through wat i have gone through. do you even noe wat my family has gone through during those JC years and the first few years of Uni? NO.
do u even have the slightest idea what i've gone thru in some of my r/s? NO.

it's not easy to retain that seed of innocence and naivety in me, esp not after i've been in NUSSU and ENGIN club. I'm not like you. I don't juz study and study and waste my time away on those books for 4years. I actually do things you noe. with all the politics and all the backstabbing and all the different and difficult ppl u meet in organisations, it's hard to remain as innocent as i was.

you see things. you get different perspectives. you learn things (thru the hard ways, sometimes). and den u noe wat u do?
you CHANGE.
you change to suit different situations and to handle different ppl.
you change becoz now u noe scheming and two-faced ppl do exist out there, it's not juz a myth.
you change so that you can learn how to handle them, and YET not turn into them.

this is the real world. grow up and learn, ger.

and seriously, i'm glad i changed since sec sch till now.
in sec sch, i was a ger who was noisy with frens but never learnt how to express my thoughts and feelings. i kept everything personal and private to myself, and i have no idea why either. i juz couldnt open up. i was someone with relatively low self esteem and self confidence.
i was not outspoken and i never make myself get heard.

in my sec sch, there was no one who disliked me, there were only frens who liked me, and schoolmates who were neutral to me. and u noe why? becoz to them, i'm juz a normal non-outstanding ger who blends in with the crowd and the background.

i dunno how i learnt to change fr who i was at tat time to who i am now. mebbe it was situations or circumstances, mebbe it was people i met who made an impact on me which i didnt even noe abt.

but i'm still glad i changed. i have more frens now, i've learnt how to tell ppl how i feel, in fact i ALWAYS tell ppl how i feel, whether i'm over the moon abt certain things or whether i'm depressed abt certain things. i'm more confident abt things, and i'm more outspoken abt certain opinions i have.

whether u like it or not, ppl around u change. be it the past 10 years, or the next 10 years.
juz accept it! u dun shun ppl whom u think haf changed and den avoid them like plague.

i feel kinda sad for u, if u haven changed a single bit in the past 10 years.
what have u been doing in your life?
havent you met new ppl? or ppl who haf made an impact on you?
havent you done new things like organising a bash, or organising a bazaar, or be in charge of a whole committee? or have u juz been so busy studying u did not see the world go past you?

and besides, what right do you have to pass judgement on me?
you do not noe me 10years ago. you do not noe me now.

the last i rem, we dun really tok in school too. so wat basis are you banging on when u said i've changed GREATLY since sec sch? the fact tat everytime you see me, i seemed to be wearing clothes tat u dun rem seeing me wear in sec sch?

i'm putting alot out there by saying all these here. alot of ppl reading my blog dun even noe how low my self-esteem in sec sch was.

so do me a favor. the next time you wanna pass judgement on me, think before you say anything. and pls keep in mind, tat you dun really noe me anyway.

like wat my frens say, you are so selfish i probably shouldnt even be bothered.

which i'm not goin to anymore. i'll prob juz forget abt this whole thing aft i blogged. tat's WHY i blogged.

i feel so much better aft tokin to all my frens. it's amazing how tokin to them always make everything seemed ok. and it's amazing how they nvr fail to stand by my side no matter wat. =)

where's lester when i need himmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
muz be busy with some HALL stuff again. -_-

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket at 11:53 PM

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* Thursday, January 24, 2008 *

the semester feels like holidays part II.

seriously, i'm so free i feel like smacking myself upside down. not trying to show off or anything, coz i noe alot of my frens are busy with FYPs and stuff (JIAYOU by the way!), but i'm trying really really hard now to find things to be busy with. -_-'''

not tat i'm complaining abt the lack of modules or the lack of schwork, i'm juz complaining abt the lack of activities for me to do!

waiting for YMCA's orientation talk so that i can start going for their activities. and recently i found a part time job, but i think i kinda blew it off due to some miscommunication. -_-''

which really pissed me off by the way. so much i dun even wanna go into details.

so this sem has really been like the holidays, which is really bad coz it means i've been going out alot and spending money alot and slowly, getting sianz of town area and stuff. haix. i've slowly realised tat i'm someone who have to pack her days totally with activities, tat probably oso explains why i'm always so burnt out during hols.

the past few weeks have been tat of going out, ktv-ing, clubbing, sentosa-ing, settler's-ing, dinner-ing, meeting up with frens, stayovers etc...

and wat is coming up are stayovers, clubbing, sentosa-ing, settler's-ing, meeting up with frens, and also a good old barbeque!

see what i mean when i said it's like hols part II?????????????????????????
anyway with a fun job lobang, pls let me noe!!!! fun is the keyword, not the pay (of coz cannot be pathetic like $5/hr lar... $6 or $7 per hr will be juz fine with me hee...)

some long overdue photos.

went Breeks for desserts with les one of the nites. we were both reminiscing abt how much we missed the Breeks buffet that they had long long ago at Marina Square before they renovate the shopping centre. that buffet was one of the best buffets i've eaten, i vividly rem their bread pudding that Zhilin kept piling on my plate the last time my JC class went there. and tat was unforgettable seriously! it has been 5yrs since, and i'm still craving for that. sux.



avocado shake (soooo superb okay! tho the name sounds horrible)


and this! was the reason why we even entered the place.



cheese brownie


let's juz say it's an acquired taste, and something i'll prob onli try once in a long while. brownie still goes the best with good old vanilla ice cream. by the way, the one at Munchie Monkey is soooo good, i think it beats those i ate outside.

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Scouts and Guides gathering at Judy's house.

i dunno if any of them reads this blog haha... but i'm sorry for not being able to attend all the gatherings the past 1 yr plus!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm SORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!! i was really really busy and somehow the gatherings always clash with my other commitments during that time. tho as much as i keep insisting on those reasons, they refuse to believe me haha...



the guides




the scouts


somehow guys juz refuse to take a proper photo. it always has to be this way. haha...

and den there was a few candid shots, which i tot was really funny and really nice! captures the essence of fun. haha... pls excuse the poor lighting, i haf no idea wat our camera-man was doin haha...




candid shot :: this photo is my fav!!!
tis is so hilarious, we were all supposed to point at edwin haha :: and a good one, finally!



the lucky man, chong ziliang! :: an attempt at a grp photo



and finally a good one - RV scouts and guides =)


it was nice to binge on junk food the whole nite, and oso some new year goodies for tat matter haha... and gossip abt some of the RV ppl we knew, what they were doing now. it's amazing how many has changed over the years.

Judy made some comments abt me having changed alot over the years, which i initially refuted. but now thinkin abt it, mebbe i did. i sure look different i noe, it's not difficult guessing tat esp when frens who noe me in uni take a look at my IC photo and looked totally shocked many secs aft tat haha...

and some other stuff has changed too. like i dun used to be so outspoken. now i am. which i dun noe if it's a good or bad thing, becoz i speak my mind easily now and some ppl juz cant accept tat i guess. well too bad, if u cant accept the truth, u cant blame me for putting it rite in ur face.

and i dun used to be this sporty either, tho i was more outdoor last time camping and stuff.

oh wells, it's like, when u look at ppl u've known 10yrs ago, and u look at them now, u'll go "wahz, they changed alot lehz!". but u'll juz nvr realise the little little changes tat haf taken place in you over the past 10yrs too.

ok back to my HR readings! which is my far, the most useful module i've taken in NUS in terms of lifeskills and interpersonal skills =)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket at 11:39 PM

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* Thursday, January 17, 2008 *

I am feeling extremely nostalgic now, becoz i stumbled onto photos posted by the RVHS alumni on facebook group.

and they're wonderful. just looking at them trigger off alot of memories within me dated as far back as 10years.

yes tat's how old we all are. it's been exactly a decade since we stepped into RV.

i think i've gushed many a times about how wonderful my sec sch is, and how wonderful my sec sch life is, and how wonderful the ppl in my sec sch is.

sure, ppl outside would nvr understand, becoz there are certain deepset stereotypes surrounding RV. but so what? some of these stereotypes are true, some are false, and some only apply to the small minority in the school. i'm the one who attended this wonderful sch, and of coz only me (and the other RVians) would noe how great it is =)))

there is something abt the sch and the sch spirit and the ppl, that seemed to follow u thru ur life. i dun exactly noe how to pinpoint it, but there's juz this warm cosy feeling everytime i think abt those 4yrs.

a few years ago, RVHS moved from the original site (where i had built my second home for those 4years) to SAJC campus becoz they're building a whole new bigger building for RVHS. i didnt manage to go back to the sch to take a last look before the humongous yellow giants came to tear them down. so finding these photos on facebook was like finding treasure. =)





the porch. where we lingered and hang around during breaks.
the parade square. where we had our everyday morning assembly and where i had some of the guides parades.
the old block, i.e. the lower secondary block. where we ran down the corridors daily, standing there looking towards the RV reservoir.






and more...






our lab. *shudders* haha... it was fun and torture all mixed up in a sadistic way.
the staffroom! i vividly remembered that sign! "no pupils allowed beyond this point". and still we always juz went in.
the canteen. the drinks stall which sold those wonderfully tasty guo tie at 1 for 20c i think. and the guides always gobble those down as lunch during CCA days.



main gate and the RV reservoir (as affectionately known to the RVians)


RV reservoir is this superbly nice place where we always had our 2.4km NAPFA test run there. while other students had to run around boring red tracks for 6 rounds, looking at the same thing again and again as they run, we gotta run around the reservoir with ever changing sceneries. we got to gush at those turtles swimming around in the reservoirs, and giggle at the writings on the rocks in liquid paper by RV students.

speaking of those writings, i so remember how there was once Mr. Tham was so damn pissed off with us coz apparently PUB sent the school a letter (a warning letter) about how RV students are always using liquid paper to write on those rocks. haha...

memories. to stay with me for life. how many ppl can say that of their own sec sch?

RV rocks my socks. =)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket at 11:21 PM

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* Friday, January 11, 2008 *

some overdue photos from one of the wet wet days in December.

we went cycling at ECP!!!!!!!!! something i kept wanting to do but me and les kept procrastinating, coz ECP is bloody far u noe!

and den the downpour came which was really unwelcoming at the start, but really refreshing when u're totally soaked wet and u dun give a damn anymore whether the raindrops are pitter pattering on ur body. hee...





ta-da! it's so fun!
i miss cycling at Ubin!!!!!!!

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so the first few days of 2008 was spent at Downtown East chalet, courtesy of Yuansheng! coz the first night was potluck, me and cai spent like 3 hrs at my hse making potato salad for 30ppl.

making potato salad is fun. making potato salad for 30 ppl (as i've found out) is a total chore!





2 tupperware-ful of salad! dun they look yummy?!?!?!?! i so wanna eat them now!!!! there's potatoes, ham, lettuces, crabsticks, carrots in them...

the chalet was more fun den i tot... haha... and it doesnt even matter tat some of us dun even noe each other there, mebbe tat's wat makes it more fun i guess...



caught on camera!


charades was fun coz we divided ourselves into 2 teams and we wrote a list of movies for the other teams... everyone was really good i've got to say coz we've got movies like "moulin rouge", "the others" etc etc... and surprisingly, everyone could guess all the really difficult ones! i'm so impressed...

den we played some stoopid games juz so to make ppl do forfeits haha...



changing of clothes



ermmm i think they were supposed to act gay


den 3 of the guys had to do forfeit tgt, and their wu lian pai was so hilarious.







it's so funny seeing 25 year old guys doing such stuff... hee...



the "stare-off" contest



okie, i have no idea what these are


and one of the lamest forfeit of the nite was to sing "london bridge"... -_-'''
as u can see, we've obviously ran out of interesting forfeits to carry out... haha...





den it was poker all night and all morning!
the first time i learnt texas poker, and it's so bloody fun and addictive can!!!!

i was so awake thru-out the whole entire game, more so den when i play mahjong even! and i won lotsa lotsa chips fr them!!! wahahhaa... beginner's luck, i guess...





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on Wednesday, i woke up to an empty house and a supposedly boring morning and afternoon, except for the dinner appointment i have in the evening with siyong and gang.

feeling all groggy and lethargic, i went to lot 1 to buy all the ingredients for the cookies tat i'm gonna make for les!!!! 3 types of cookies altogether! there's peanut butter cookies, double chocolate cookies, and chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips in them.

i dunno why the sudden surge in doing so, juz felt like baking something sweet for him. and coz he kept calling me to let me noe he's at SRC watching his hall frens play IHG softball, i was planning to bring all the cookies to him in hall to surprise him before going down to town for the dinner appointment (bet u didnt noe abt this, but yes, i was REALLY planning to do that =P )

BUT!

he beat me to it.

a few mins after i reached home from all the ingredients-shopping, i heard this humongous loud knock on my door. seriously, i think my heart skip a beat coz it juz felt like there's some stalker outside.

i open the door and wat did i see but les grinning fr ear to ear with a sunflower in his hands...
tat is SOOOOOOOOOO sweeeeeeet okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and lucky for u, my fav flower is sunflower and not like a huge bouquet of roses haha! i love it when ppl surprise me at my door, esp if it's you... =) hee...

so now the lovely blooming cheery sunflower is sitting happily in my vase by my laptop...



together with the piglet and pooh he gave me!


so we ended up baking cookies tgt!!!!! it was sooooo fun! every cooking session with u is like a whole new adventure all over again...

and it's actually our first time BAKING, even tho we've cooked some stuff tgt alr...



the house-boyfren


the whole kitchen was in disarray coz we've to stir and mix and wash and bake and den start on another batch again... didnt manage to take much photos of the process...



cookie dough for the double chocolate cookies! (i threw in some cornflakes and they taste fabulous!)


the stoopid boy keep eating the cookie dough while mixing them even tho i kept telling him flour tat's not baked is juz disgusting. i think if he hadnt eaten any of the dough, we prob would have 1 or 2 more cookies baked... hahah...



the houseboyfren baking


we had about 40 plus cookies of the 3 different kinds... sounds alot eh? but not! they finish really fast!



double chocolate cookies :: peanut butter cookies


the double chocolate cookies are abit chao tar, which lester insisted made them taste better... -_-'''

but the cookies were really good lar!!!!! they're crunchy on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside! wahahhaha...

lookwise, they juz look horrid haha... but they actually taste better den i expected...
all credits to allrecipes.com, and the wonderfully domestic boyfren wahhaha...





see, he even washes the dishes...
i'm sorry i was too sick to clean up aft tat... but it's so sweet of u to scrub and wash everythin for me, considering how much u hate washing dishes hahaha...



the burnt out baker


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went sentosa with les yesterday coz it's like one of the last times before bloody sch starts again... despite the stoopid commercialized siloso beach where so many areas of the beach are being cordoned off and had this stoopid blue netting that separates the shore from the sea, it was still really fun!

frisbee. sand. sea. sun. you.
ahhhh... heaven...

it started drizzling alittle in the late afternoon so we went to take the luge! considering how many times i've been goin to sentosa, it's an embarassment to say tat i've nvr taken the luge before... haha...





okie, i took the pic above to show u guys how the luge looks like but i think the ang moh was kinda shocked to see flashes of light the moment she turned the corners...



us with the helmets!


and on the skyride! took it in Korea before and mind you, the ones in Korea didnt have a safety bar in front, i think i was shaking thru-out the ride den coz any jerking motions mite juz send u flying...




glimpses of Sentosa from high above


i was so scared my camera will slip off my hands can! we were kinda high up at tat time.




us on the skyride


anyway the luge was ok lar... kinda fun for first try... but something tat u wun wanna take a 2nd time until like a long long long loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg time later... $9 for the skyride and luge is a tad expensive tho...

went Vivo to watch "Dan in Real Life" which i stoopidly suggested in the morning to buy the 7:10pm show. den the rain had to come so early and we've to leave sentosa early so in the end we spent like an hr plus sitting inside GV munching on popcorn and doing nothing. hahah...





we played games with the popcorn and wasted alot of them in the process haha...

anyway! the threadless shirts we ordered eons eons ago are finally here! i tot they got lost in the mail coz it has been months since we ordered. anyway! we both liked the same tshirt so we ordered the same since they've a colour for females and a colour for males...

so ta-da! first couple shirts owned! hee...




see how dirty les's mirror is! :: couple tshirts fr threadless!



pillow-fighting!



i surrenderrrr...............................


close up of the "pillow fight" tshirts!






isnt the shirt cute????????????????????????????????????????? see the dead pillow?!?!?!?!?! tat's our fav, it looks so cute can!!!! and it's located at one small corner at the back of the tshirts ahahha...

went JB today... seafood feast! i'm so full and bloated now... but it's so worth it!
we had stingray, kang kong, their signature tofu dish (which was the best find of the day), sambal sotongs, fried buttered prawns and tat hugeass sugarcane drink for onli S$14 each... damn cheap can!!!

les bought lotsa DVDs!!!! wanted to buy the O.C. but he said it's hard to smuggle back! =((

dec hols has been more den fun, they're superb! my first few weeks of jan is packed with more outings... i cant seem to get into the schooling mode arghhhhhh...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket at 11:30 PM

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