I'm back from lovely cooling Melbourne. and it has been a fantastic 8-days trip with lester, complete with a cosy beautifully-furnished hostel, scouring around for good food and whining to each other how poor we have become after each meal, meeting up with his frens in melbourne and getting nice deserty treats, drinking at pubs complete with nice american/australian music and cheap CHEAP beers which totally reminds me of USA, shopping for cosmetics clothes comics and watnots, and of coz some really sweet alone time with him =)

i had a hate-hate relationship with the weather in melbourne, tho the weather is usually the primary reason why ppl love to go there, but i have an EXTREMELY low tolerance for cold and i absolutely loves the sun. but this relationship is turning into a love-love relationship after last nite when i came back home and were absolutely sweating and had to shower twice in the span of a few hrs. -_-'''

now that i'm back in spore, i feel lost and disoriented, with the impending frighteningly near date of my first day at work - 20th May 2008.

it's scary and it felt like i've got tons of things to do and settle, and as u can see, i'm definitely not getting down to it yet.

lester says i worry too much, which i think is true but i cant help it. it's a whole new environment, with NO ONE i already know working inside, or even entering the company together with me. NO ONE. frens are surprised when i say this coz i think they always assume it was easy for me, but i absolutely HATE the process of making new frens. i love HAVING new frens of coz, but i juz hate the process. ditto.

i kept thinking wat if the ppl inside are on totally diff freqs as me?
wat if my manager or my colleagues dun like me?
wat if i cant find anyone to eat lunch tgt with me?
wat if i make so much mistakes on my job during the first month tat they fire me?
wat if i dun even have a clue on how to go abt doing my job?
wat if all those above make me lose my self-confidence and self-esteem so much i become quiet?

see... the list can go on and on. and i'm so ready to tear every single strand of hair out of my head now. -_-''

and i dun have enuff working clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i kept wanting to go work for 1 week to take a look at how formal/casual the ppl inside dress before i decide wat kinda working clothes i shd buy so tat i dun dress too formally/casually... and now i realise i dun haf enuff working clothes to last me 1 week, unless of coz i go work in a mini-skirt and blazer, which of coz my boss will prob kill me. and oh wait... i dun haf a blazer. ROARSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

it's like a totally new phase of life, and reading the blogs of my frens who haf already been working for 1 year doesnt help either. coz all i see is whinings and complainings and grumblings and unhappiness and frustration and exhaustion, that it makes me feel pessimistic abt work even before i started on it.

arghhh!

several things i've to settle b4 the horrid start of my new life:


and of coz i'll blog abt the MELBOURNE TRIP soon! =D